December 6th is Finland’s Independence Day.
On this day we light two white candles on our windowsill, a tradition that dates back to the 1918 civil war where social democrats were executed and sent to concentration camps by the thousands. We also watch an annual broadcast of The Unkown Soldier, a film about the war we declared on the Soviet Union back when we were Nazis.
God bless us.
Voi vittujen tähen, forgive me for this.
> Finland declared independence in 1917. The Civil War happened after that and we definitely aren’t celebrating a slaughter of our own kin.
> Reds were executed by the Whites but we are talking about a civil war so both sides were at fault.
> Allied to Nazis. Yes. Were we Nazis? No.
I never said we gained independence in the year 1918, I was just saying the tradition dates back to the Civil War. And I never said we’re “celebrating” the slaughter of Finns. The whole point of that post was that all our Independence Day traditions date back to the darkest points in our history. We never celebrate the actual events of December 6th, because then we’d have to admit that our independence was dependent on the Bolshevik revolution and the rise of Communist Russia. The conservative Russians (the ones Mannerheim fought for by the way) were absolutely opposed to an independent Finland, while Lenin granted us sovereignty immediately. But that doesn’t fit the narrative that Mannerheim was a hero and the Communists were evil, so we’re not taught it and we don’t talk about it, and we certainly don’t celebrate it.
Second, don’t be a historical apologist. No, both sides weren’t at fault when the Whites executed and exterminated the Reds in motherfucking concentration camps by the tens of thousands. The Reds weren’t Bolshevists, they weren’t even communists. They were, at worst, an early 20th century version of SDP. The Whites, on the other hand, advocated social inequality and (practically) serfdom. The Finnish civil war is one of those wars where the bad guys won.
And the Nazi thing… I just didn’t want to say Finland was an “Axis Power”. Trust me I have a good reason.
December 6th is Finland’s Independence Day.
On this day we light two white candles on our windowsill, a tradition that dates back to the 1918 civil war where social democrats were executed and sent to concentration camps by the thousands. We also watch an annual broadcast of The Unkown Soldier, a film about the war we declared on the Soviet Union back when we were Nazis.
God bless us.
- vittu - “cunt”
- vittu! - ”fuck!”
- vitut. - ”fuck it”
- vitut! - “bullshit!”
- vitun - “fucking”
- vitusti - “a lot of/much”
- vittua? - “what the fuck?”
- vitus? - “why the fuck?”
- vittuilla - “fuck with”
- vituttaa - “I’m pissed off”
- vittumainen - “fucking annoying”
- vittumaisuuttaan - “out of pure dickishness”
It is also a filler word, that can be vittu used at vittu any point in a vittu sentence.
Finland participated in the Holocaust. We sent 50 Jews and 500 Communists to be killed by the Germans.
“Kumarreksituteskenteleentuvaisehkollaismaisekkuudellisenneskenteluttelemattomammuuksissansakaankopahan” is a word.
It’s a long word. It means fuck all if I know. But it’s not the longest word in the Finnish language.
Let me explain:
FINLAND FACTS PRESENTS: “Finnish Jokes That Don’t Translate Well Into English”
- Lawyers know all sorts of things.
- Let’s get varnish from the harbor when it stops raining.
- What do dementia patients sing during Christmas? “Because It’s Christmas”.
Join us next time, when we tell Swedish jokes that don’t translate well into Swedish.
Did you know?
“Fin” is Swedish for “poops”.
![This is the first image you get when you google “Finnish army”.
The Finnish Defence Forces (lead by this fucking guy, we elected him because we didn’t want a gay president) are conscripted from the male population. Every Finnish adult male has to serve in the military, or perform civil service (which is stigmatised: “It’s just washing men’s assholes in a retirement home!”) for twice as long. Or go to prison.
Conscription is against the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Finns are mostly fine with it though, because we don’t give a fuck about things. Another reason is fear of our Russian neighbor, and the popular assumption that the only thing keeping them from invading a small, peaceful, Western democracy is our “credible defence forces” [see image 1].](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc30p9RQKs1r9nlhuo1_500.jpg)
This is the first image you get when you google “Finnish army”.
The Finnish Defence Forces (lead by this fucking guy, we elected him because we didn’t want a gay president) are conscripted from the male population. Every Finnish adult male has to serve in the military, or perform civil service (which is stigmatised: “It’s just washing men’s assholes in a retirement home!”) for twice as long. Or go to prison.
Conscription is against the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Finns are mostly fine with it though, because we don’t give a fuck about things. Another reason is fear of our Russian neighbor, and the popular assumption that the only thing keeping them from invading a small, peaceful, Western democracy is our “credible defence forces” [see image 1].
Anyway Finland’s economy is based mostly on lumber.
During World War Two, after Finland’s alliance with Nazi Germany, the United Kingdom declared war on us. Though they never engaged in battle, it was the first and only war ever declared by one democracy on another.
Christ I’m stealing facts from QI now. Jesus what happened to my self-respect.
.
.
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I mean seriously what the fuck happened? I used to have dreams, and I used to work for those dreams. I had something, some reason to get up in the morning. But then I guess I realised it was easier to just give up. To give it all up. To give up trying, to give up reaching. To give up dreaming.
Now what do I do. Here I am, alone. It’s dark. It’s cold outside. All I see is the unmeaning and heartless light beaming at me from my computer monitor. I’m alone. All alone. We all are. We pretend we’re not but we really are. We’re alone and we’re dying. All of us, not just us but people. Not just people but the whole fucking species is dying. We should be screaming. Every single one of us should be screaming and crying and gnashing and tearing but we don’t. We smile. How the fuck can we smile and laugh and sing We’re at a funeral for the human species and we’re smiling. Smiling. Smiling
